I Am Upset.

I Am Upset.
I did terrible on the 5 AP exams that I took this year.
Yesterday, I noticed that I didn't seem to be eating as much food as usual, and I figured that it was due to the methimazole, which was curbing my hormones, which was probably curbing my leptin release. Which is good, because a slower metabolism means that I should be consuming fewer Calories.
Today I got my scores, cried, and ate a lot of chocolate.
I think that I'm the type of person who does a lot of emotional eating. Anxiety eating. When I study, I have to eat. When I'm not sure what to do, I eat. Recently, though, everything has been really chill and relaxed, so I haven't really had a reason to eat much. I'm sure evolution has ingrained it in our brains to eat whenever there were external stresses. I mean, in the past, when one was freaking out, it was probably due to the lack of food, which would thus encourage a search for MORE food and rampant stuffing of the food.
This, of course, does not bode well for the modern human.
Though, despite the fact that I ate more food than usual in this past week, I still ate less than I did in April and May, which the methimazole probably accounts for.

I don't feel like blogging about the chocolate I ate today so I will talk about it tomorrow. I have to thank JM for it though, since she gave it to me. Well, she's allergic to it.

Rollin' up Graves'.

Short message about Rolos and Graves' Disease.

My previous calc teacher, as you know, kept candy in a drawer for we students, every single day. At one point, I spied this thing that looked like a chocolate, with a golden foil wrapper. It was really sticky, with the caramel inside sticking to my teeth the way benzene sticks together.
Anyway... a few weeks later, at the Hershey store, I realised that they were actually ROLOs. I think that these are significant because I wanted to give one to AP but I ended up chickening out.
Today, I thought of them just because, as usual, I am thinking about food. However, I'm also thinking about not thinking about food, because I actually need to lose 350000 Calories. Okay, maybe not exactly 350000 Calories, but in the past few months, I have gained at least 2 to 3 kgs because my metabolism is slowing down loads, thanks to Graves' Disease. This is a good thing, because it proves that methimazole is working for me, but it sucks for my body since I'm storing everything as glycogen and triglycerides. Tack on a bunch of parties... and plain old exercise doesn't really cut it.
Hmm... at least I know that I can change this. Technically, I'm still of an "average" mass. No such thing as a lost cause. I'm trying to be optimistic.