Pirate's Booty - Chocolate

So. Chocolate flavoured puffed corn/rice...melts in your mouth, but in the characteristic soggy way particular to puffed corn snacks. The texture is quite intriguing.

The taste? Bizarre. Slightly salty, yet smothered in slightly bitter, powdery cocoa powder. Not sweet. Not entirely remarkable. No corn flavour either (predominately unsweetened rice puff; although I don't mind it, I think some people will unearth descriptions that include the word "cardboard")...it's rather bland.

Lentil Chips!

One thing that really irks me after learning about celiac disease is that "gluten free" is not "healthier" than a normal diet. Celiac disease is when your body can not break down gluten; celiacs lack the enzyme. This does not mean that gluten is bad for you. GLUTEN IS DELICIOUS. It is a protein found in bread! "Gluten-free" food does not mean it's somehow more salubrious, or more "natural". Gluten-free wheat bread is well... not really "natural" [although I'm starting to despise that marketing gimmick too]. Yet, "Gluten Free" appears right under "Trans Fat Free!" and "No Cholesterol!" Now, I know that the Mediterranean Snack Foods company is not the only company that does this [Pirate's Booty is another], but in general, this practice is like labeling an apple as "No Cholesterol!", or water as "Calorie Free!". It's stating the obvious to appeal to the public, because advertising and journalism tell the public that "x-Free!" = healthy.

A diet for celiacs is not deemed healthy, since many of the foods aren't fortified with vitamin B12 and folate, whereas most grain/gluten-containing foods have fortified vitamins/minerals from some law in the 1970s [in the U.S., at least]. Going on a "gluten free" diet as a non-celiac is like going on a "peanut free diet because some other people are allergic to peanuts".

How many people do you know are true celiacs? I know one. Apparently it is 1% of the population, although this doesn't state much since Graves' disease is also 1% of the population and I know 3 other people with it [not including myself].

Anyway, I had to put this out there because I'm getting sick of hearing people/girls [yes, sexist generalisation, but I believe more girls do this than guys] talking about their salad and their complete abstinence from bread and cool foods, not that salad isn't cool.

I got these Lentil Cucumber Dill chips [no packaging image, but here is the shiny image for the website] because there was a rather high protein content compared to potato/corn chips, and cucumber dill seemed like an amazing combination! I was thinking that it'd taste something like dill pickles. That would've been amazing; imagine a sour, watery, crispy chip like that! Speaking of which... are there burger flavoured chips out there?

Unfortunately, I was really upset with the quality and taste of these chips. Firstly, there was an overwhelming amount of saltiness. I just checked the sodium content: 260 mg/serving. In comparison, Lay's Original Potato Chips has 180 mg sodium/serving, and I think those are salty already... So, I believe there is 44% more sodium in the lentil chips. Uh, bleh.

The second part that I was highly discontent with was that it tasted like there was sour cream powder smothered over it, but it wasn't even fresh sour cream. It was like... salty, garlicky, pungent sour cream.

No cucumber taste.

Some dried dill flakes.

No lentil taste.

Super crunchy, though.

In other words, stay away. They're also kind of very expensive [probably due to the high markup. I'm telling you, a Dining Dollar equals at least 2 real dollars...].

Rold Gold White Dipped Honey Braided Twists

Rolo Gold. For the past four years, that's what I thought "Rold Gold" was. I thought it said Rolo. I'm not the only one; googling "Rolo Gold" actually yield pretzel results too. It's funny, because Rold Gold makes so much more sense as a brand name ["Rolled" Gold, it rhymes, it sounds swanky...]. In fact, I've been eating the Honey Braided Twists since November-ish, and I never noticed it said Rold on the package.

I decided to buy these white covered ones [note that there is no mention of "white chocolate" covered twists, since there is no actual chocolate inside it. In fact, I was going to buy the milk chocolate version, but that one had PHOs and probably didn't contain much chocolate either.

I'm not really into pretzels. I like them, but I'm not super obsessed. The Honey Braided Twists are pretty good, especially if the edges are a tad burnt. Actually, the pretzels that I enjoy the most [solely because of the flavouring, so I might as well buy the flavouring in bulk, right?] are the honey mustard and onion ones from Snyder's of Hanover.

These pretzels are basically the honey braided twists that are covered in fatty sugar. The coating is super saturated and sore-throat-inducingly sweet. However, it also tastes creamy and smooth, which is a really nice change and contrasts with the malty crunch of the pretzel. There was a bit of waxiness directly after consumption...but it's not too noticeable.

The pretzels are difficult to snap into halves, and it can't fit into my mouth at once, and the white coating melted quickly, so I suppose it's an annoying snack to eat while typing.

Overall, it was a typical snack with no real nutritional value. Should've bought noodles...

Kamman!

I always enjoy going to the Asian foods store, because there are always really funny brand names and logos and such. For example, Chiz Curls evidently spelled the word "cheese" wrong by spelling their product as "Chiz". Right below, however, the word "Cheese" is not only correctly spelled, but also correctly capitalised! It's also funny since there are no actual "curls" in the bag [well, I could be wrong, since I've never actually opened a bag of them]. Those puffed corn pieces are actually... well, rod shaped. Not curly. :) But, it's funny.

Gosh, I really love this one. Oh the biology-related innuendos! Would you like some bacterial pili to contaminate your food - I mean, they can contaminate your nuts! Oh! Hey, the pili are growing! *New Discovery!* - Pili have nuts! To be a health nut, you gotta obtain a ton of conjugation via pili!

... the list goes on.