Something is wrong about my blog. Something terrible and ignored for 17 months.
The pie is a lie.
Despite calling my blog PIE-314, I've yet to make a pie and blog it on here. Sure, cheesecake has some sorta shell, and egg tarts can be considered open-top pies, and I've posted about pie before (made by others). I've just never made pie from scratch.
Actually, scratch that. I've made pies a few times in my life and I believe that they all turned out to be pretty much disasters. The chocolate pie I made when I was in year 8 turned out to have super overwhipped filling (it was still delicious, though). The berry pie with lattice top I made when Harry Potter 5 came out was really sour I didn't follow a recipe and I used only a few teaspoons of sugar.
The apple pies I made nearly EXACTLY 4 years ago, on Memorial Day 2007, were made with some biscuit mix and cracker crumbs (cracker crumb top). If THAT doesn't sound bad enough, I used dried apples that I tried to rehydrate by sticking them in water for half an hour (figuring osmosis would do something). I also followed no recipe, meaning that I had this dried-apple-and-preservatives-and-water sludge sitting on biscuit-mix-mixed-with-crackers concoction sitting in the oven for some random amount of time...but it didn't burn.
The best part was that the crust actually turned out pretty delicious.
The worst part was that I gave one of the two pies that I had made to my neighbour...and I actually felt proud of what I had made. So, now I cringe.
On Friday, I will actually make an apple pie. (Why? To show that in 4 years, I taught myself how to bake. It's not for a patriotic reason.) From scratch. I guess you all know by now that I dislike the whole pre-made crust, cake mix, pudding mix etc. enterprise.
So how does all this tie in with chocolate pudding? Well, I was going to make a chocolate pie, and I was determined to follow the recipe for once (instead of tweaking everything), because it was a tofu recipe by Alton Brown, and he's pretty awesome. However, I was pretty occupied most of today, and it was also really hot, so baking just didn't sound appetizing. Instead, I just made chocolate pudding from the pie recipe. No, not pie filling, because instead of using 13 ounces of chocolate, I only used 4 (116 g). Why? ...I only had 116 g of chocolate. It's perfectly fine, though, because 4 oz of strong chocolate makes the pudding taste like chocolate, too. I'm never going to buy pudding again! Those pudding cups are silly now!
Ingredients for pretty bitter but so intensely chocolately pudding (just the way I like it!)
116 g (4 oz) 65% cocoa chocolate
1 tbsp honey
1 lb silken tofu
2 tsp instant coffee
1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
Stick everything except tofu in the microwave for 30 s.
Blend with tofu.
Stick in fridge overnight.
Since my pudding is still chillin' in the "chill chest" (Alton Brown terminology), I guess I'll take more photogenic pictures tomorrow at breakfast time [Update: it's the first photo]
What? You don't eat pudding for breakfast?
Nutritionally, it's the same as eating scrambled tofu and drinking hot chocolate, which many people do for breakfast. So why can't I eat pudding?
I'm making apple pie on Friday.
(By the way, it's world thyroid day...not that much happens)