31 January 2010


"Are you vegan?"
J asked me that today when we were on the bus to the track meet [at which I did terrible. Worse than terrible, actually]. I wonder what makes him think that I could be vegan [considering I don't really talk to him much...]? I replied that I'm a vegetarian, though I've honestly considered being vegan in the past. I don't want to though, because chicken eggs and cow's milk yoghurt are huge components of my meals.
Why am I vegetarian, though? Here is my train of thought, a mish-mosh of propaganda welded together into my own beliefs.
1. Homo sapiens are evolutionally able to eat other animals - the teeth are evolutionally adapted to eating animals, AND plants. A.k.a. we are omnivores [no disputin' that].

2. Homo sapiens are evolutionally able to drink cow/goat/buffalo milk. We have enzymes. If PETA [or any other narrow-minded activist] tells you that "humans are the only species to drink milk from another species, so humans ought to be vegan", you should retort back: "So what? We're the only species that eats Boca Burgers."

3. I hate Tyson and its stupid chicken farms, oh, I mean, cages, oh, I mean, shoe-boxed sized jails. I hate McDonalds and its uncaring shredding of rainforests [for raising crappy food] and its Republicanism [sorry to bring in the politics] and lack of the concept of welfare [for both its workers and its ingredients]. I hate other restaurant chains and other animal killing operations for the fact that they're basically monopolies and jerks and freakin' uncaring. Thus, I will not buy their stuff [usually dead animals in marinade], so they won't profit. They should DIE. I could go on for hours about this.

4. This is my favourite reason ever. In simple terms: if I have a hectare of corn, I can feed myself for... let's say a month. If I have a hectare of corn and feed it to a baby cow, a month later it would've eaten all the corn. If I eat the cow, it could feed me for, perhaps, 4 days [if I made cow-butt soup or something]. Doesn't sound like much, but if you're comparing billions of people, you have a WHOLE lot more food for people.

5. I like being a rebel.

6. I'm not really into the whole animal activist crap. PETA sickens me because they are so extreme and NARROWMINDED. People Eating Tasty Animals is actually a very appropriate backronym for them, because what they do is way too absurd to be taken seriously, and they basically kill off caged animals when they "set them free into the ocean" because caged animals do not develop right, and thus aren't able to live in their natural habitat. Plus, they put a really bad name on we vegetarians/vegans. I can be a vegetarian and respect people for consuming animals.

7. People who truly care about me will respect me for being vegetarian. Great way to tell what side people are on.

8. I don't really miss eating animals. Bacon smells good. Tuna sandwiches smell good. But I'm kinda indifferent to them. It's kinda like telling me stuff about baseball. I don't really care.

9. I figured out an answer to the [grammatically incorrect] question that people always ask. "Where do you get your protein from?!", they exclaim. From now on, I will say, "Where do you get your narrow-mindedness from?" and if they reply, "What?" I will say, "Where do you get your common sense from? I get my protein from food."

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